


first snow

by bbb136



Series: long winter [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M, Mpreg, Non explicit but the power dynamics aren't great, Peer Pressure, Spoiler - They Don't, Unhealthy Relationships, Unplanned Pregnancy, Youths Thinking They Know Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 11:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbb136/pseuds/bbb136
Summary: It’s such a small thing. It’s two tiny little red lines when it should only be one.





	first snow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bidawee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bidawee/gifts).



> So I'm dedicating this to the apparent other half of my fan fiction heart. She's supremely talented, writes lots of difficult fiction and I really recommend you go check her stuff out. We're trash buddies. She inspired me to write this and now its 6am and I feel like death. 
> 
>  
> 
> This isn't explicit and it isn't long but please see end notes for warnings if required.

It’s such a small thing. It’s two tiny little red lines when it should only be one.

 

It’s fucked up that Mitch’s heart has stopped beating and his legs have gone weak and the only thing there is to mark this sudden and massive collapse of his universe are two tiny little red lines on a stupid plastic stick that Mitch never thought he’d be dumb enough to actually need.

 

He falls down onto the toilet seat and takes a shaky breath. The test slips out from his fingers onto the tiled floor and lands face-down with a clatter.

 

“Hey.” Auston says, sounding annoyed.

 

Mitch sucks in another breath and grips his hair, thinking madly that if he tugs it hard enough he’ll be able to tug himself back in time and _never_ _be so stupid and let Auston -_

 

Auston bends down to retrieve the test lying at Mitch’s feet. He glances at it for a moment and rubs his fingers over it, considering, but Mitch isn’t really looking at him right now.

 

“I can’t- I can’t do this.” Mitch stammers. “This is so fucked up. I can’t do this.”

 

Auston makes a tired sound. “Mitch.” He murmurs, holding the test right in Mitch’s line of sight, where he can see it if he drags his gaze up from anywhere else. “Mitch, just slow down.”

 

“No!” Mitch shakes his head furiously. “I can’t - I’m twenty-one! I’m shouldn’t - I’m not old enough for this!”

 

Auston can be mean, and Mitch can see him bite back the _well_ c _learly not_ that was on the tip of his tongue. It makes him more anxious than if Auston had actually said it.

 

Auston looks at him, his expression unreadable. He’s still holding the test loosely between still fingers and he’s leaving Mitch alone, but his height is hard to ignore.

 

“Mitch-” Auston tries again.

 

“You’re twenty.” Mitch interjects, looking at Auston desperately. “You just made the NHL. You can’t be a dad now. Your family would kill you.”

 

“Let me worry about them.” Auston says.

 

“Oh yeah? What about Babcock then? What about the team? What are they going to do?”

 

“I’ll handle it.” Auston says.

 

Mitch stares up at him disbelievingly. “… You’ll - you’ll handle it? _Fucking_ \- Auston, this isn’t nothing. This is really bad. We fucked up.”

 

“Stop being so dramatic.” Auston tells him, beginning to look frustrated. “You’re acting like this is the end of the world.”

 

“Isn’t it?” Mitch demands, his eyes wild.

 

Auston’s frown gains a true edge. Mitch feels hysterical, falling back against the cool ceramic and covering his face with his hands.

 

There’s an ugly pause where Mitch can literally feel Auston trying not to lose his cool.

 

“This doesn’t have to be a bad thing.” Auston slowly grits out.

 

“This definitely isn’t a good thing.” Mitch answers back. “Not right now. Not for me.”

 

“Mitch-”

 

“No. I-“ Mitch sucks in another breath and puts his hands on his knees, bowing his head and closing his eyes. He's been getting annoyed with Auston recently; he pulls out a script he's already got rehearsed. “I know you think that because you’re the big guy on the team that you can do whatever you want.” He starts, keeping his eyes tightly shut because everything is fucked but he needs to get this out. “And I know there’s a lot of pressure involved for you. People expect big things. You feel like you need to deliver on them even though you’re just one guy and one guy can’t win a hockey match all by himself. I get that it’s hard for you. But not everything is a challenge you need to win. You don’t need to win this. I’m telling you. We fucked up, but it doesn’t have to be forever.”

 

Mitch knows that the speech is going to make Auston angry, maybe make him storm out and slam the door, so he braces himself for that, prepares to let the tears fall in earnest as soon as he doesn’t have an audience, but for the first time for as long as he’s known him, Auston goes cold instead.

 

“Fuck you, Mitch.” It’s delivered without warmth. Without kindness. It’s venom from a dark-eyed boy with white-knuckled fists curled around a stupid piece of plastic. Auston’s looking at him like he wants to hit him. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to say that to me.”

 

“But I don’t want this.” Mitch protests.

 

Auston snorts. “Are you sure you’re telling me the truth right now, Mitch? You’ve always wanted a family. You want one as big as the one your parents had.”

 

It’s true, but obviously -

 

“Not now!” Mitch wails. “I’m just getting started in the NHL. I don’t want to take time off. I want to live my life!”

 

Auston drops to his knees down in front of him and takes ahold of Mitch’s hands. The sudden proximity startles Mitch and he tries to jerk out of Auston’s grip.

 

Auston isn’t dissuaded in the least. “But you’d be great with a kid.” He insists, his tone reverent. “You could do it all and you could win Toronto a Cup. You could prove them all wrong. You could make every damn expert who sits on a talk show and says that your kind can’t make it in the NHL shut up and eat their words. We could paint the town fucking blue you and me.”

 

“Auston…” Mitch tries, but the fervour in Auston’s eyes is hard to avoid.

 

“I’ve said this right from the start. You’re brilliant, Mitch. You’re worth billions to me. This city loves you. They’ll love everything you give them.”

 

“I don’t have to give them anything.” Mitch spits out. “I’m a fucking hockey player, not a goddamn incubator!”

 

“And I know that you like me.” Auston quickly adds, like he’s built the bonfire and now he’s striking the match. He gives Mitch an impatient shake when he rolls his eyes at that. “Don’t be smart. I know this hasn’t been just sex for you. That’s why you kept turning me down at the beginning, you didn’t want to do just casual with me. Because you like me. You like me a lot.”

 

Mitch raises his eyes and finally looks at Auston who has leant in real close. Their mouths are mere inches from each other. This close Mitch can see the faint freckles that even the worst Toronto winter has failed to completely wipe out.

 

“I don’t like you right now.” Mitch says.

 

“But you love me always.” Auston says. “We both know it. It’s why this is going to work.”

 

“You aren’t fucking listening to me.” Mitch says weakly, but Auston only sighs and lets go of him.

 

Auston gets to his feet, rakes a hand through his hair and walks off to lean against the bathroom sink. He looks back at Mitch and folds his arms.

 

“I don’t think you understand how good having a kid could be for us.” He says with complete seriousness.

 

Mitch feels tired, like every inch of his body has run a marathon without any help from the other parts. “This isn’t good, Auston…” He murmurs in the general direction of the ceiling. He hugs his stomach and does his best not to think about just what was growing there. But the knowledge is a black hole. And the father won't give him a fucking break. 

 

“No. Think about it. You might get traded over the summer.”

 

Mitch instinctively reaches out to knock wood at the suggestion but there’s none in the bathroom.

 

He shoots Auston a glare.

 

Auston doesn’t back down. “It could happen. Trades are crazy. So don’t you want to get some security against that?”

 

It's said so lightly but the question has hooks in it. Mitch knows what Auston’s getting at.

 

“You’re such a dick.” Mitch hisses. “Don’t use that against me.”

 

“You want to stay in Toronto with me?” Because they won’t trade Auston, they’ll _never_ trade Auston Matthews, who isn’t even fucking from Toronto and doesn’t know it like Mitch does. “There’s an easy fix there. And you love me and if we were ten years older you’d be crying with happiness right now, so don’t act like I’m suggesting you fuck up your future!”

 

Mitch curls his hands into his eyes. “Auston…” He says, but he’s run out of things to say.

 

Auston suddenly envelopes him in a hug. “It’s okay.” He says, voice warm, arms strong, holding him close the way Mitch always wished he would. “It’ll be alright.”

 

To Mitch’s horror, the reassurance draws a sob out of him. Even though Auston is the sole reason he’s crying right now. His fucking bullshit and his fucking smile which has turned Mitch’s whole life upside down.

 

Auston absorbs his crying without protest. “It’s okay. You’re scared. I get it. But we can do this. We’ll be fine.” He pulls Mitch’s hands away from his face and kisses him gently, ignoring Mitch’s shuddered breathing.

 

Mitch ducks away from Auston’s mouth, takes a deep breath. “I don't…”

 

Auston pulls him close again. “No one is going to give you any shit, Mitch.” He whispers. “Not while you’re with me. I can promise you that. No one will even dare. We’re so good together. Everyone says that.”

 

Mitch can see the test lying discarded on the floor over Auston’s shoulder. There’s too much in his head right now for him to think clearly. He’s still reeling.

 

He’s not - he doesn’t want this.

 

But when he says as much, clutching at Auston's shoulders and still staring at that stupid fucking test, Auston merely hums and keeps ahold of him.

 

* * *

 

_Baby steps._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings - Character realises he's pregnant, is adamantly not into it and is freaking out, but his partner effectively pressures him into being more receptive. It's not clear what actually happens because there is an open ending. Up to you to decide. But while this isn't outright abusive it is pretty manipulative and shitty. It goes without saying that if someone in real life acts like this you should tell someone about it and also maybe go set fire to their car. 
> 
> Short idea, just a scene from their life. Please leave feedback if you enjoyed reading!


End file.
